Who told you that you weren't good enough for this or that? Who told you that you should lower your expectations and standards? Who told you that you would be nothing but average at best? Who told you to stop expecting the best out of this life? Who fed you these lies? But I think the more important question is "why do you believe any of those things to be true?" My guess is you have fallen into a rut. Maybe this rut has lasted a lot longer than you expected. Now it manifests itself in unhealthy thoughts, physical and/or emotional pain, and other avenues of negativity and pain. I really do understand. I really do. I will not say it is easy to be strong and to believe in the best. We are human but that doesn't mean God has lowered the expectation of you standing strong with God. That I know surely.
Remember Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged; the Lord is with you wherever you go". It may look bad or actually be bad but be strong and have some courage. Courage to take the steps that need to be taken. Have the courage to follow the Lord. I'm not saying the path will fall right into place automatically. Remember a mess is a mess. It takes effort to be cleaned up. It takes some work. The work may be light or it could be a bit more difficult. Focus on the outcome. Focus on the end result.
Most importantly, trust God has all the resources you need to move you out of the place of pain. You can't be like a boat that goes whichever direction the wind blows. You have to set course to the direction you want to go in and go forward with trust that you will arrive. You have to trust God will take you where you need to go. Unwavering faith. You have to have an immovable faith. If you don't, you can't/won't see all that God has for you. That's just the truth. People say they want to experience God, but you never will experience God going back and forth. Like with any relationship, you will never have a consistency if you treat the relationship and experience with that person with a lot of inconsistency.
Don't second-guess God. God makes promises to be with us always and to be with us wherever we go. You have to trust that even in the most difficult moments. That's how you grow to continually trust God and actually have a real experience God...Be Blessed...
